Friday, March 27, 2009

How Has Adoption Touched Your Life?

I’m a crier. Always have been. Always will be. It only seems to get worse with age. Yup. I’m the grown woman at the back of the theater sobbing uncontrollably over… Simba. Or Pumba. You get the idea. Already, at nine, my daughter rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

Mom. You’re a mess.

I know, honey. I know.

Life has its challenges but it’s also replete with humorous moments so, when these occur, I relish them. I started this blog two weeks ago with the simple thought of sharing my story and, yes, to be honest, a chuckle or two. The response has been wonderful and I can’t thank the people enough who called or emailed to share their enthusiasm and encouragement. And, risky though I know it is, it set me thinking…

I struggled with whether this blog was a good idea, whether I might be overstepping in sharing parts of my daughter’s story, inevitably part of my story. At the same time, I know while sometimes she feels alone, she is not alone. I know too there are ways to protect our anonymity. So I thought,

What if I could use my blog to bring people together, to share their stories, their questions, ideas, thoughts, and concerns?

How powerful would that be?

I dug around for a few credible statistics and the results were surprising. Roughly one in two Americans is touched by adoption. Maybe you, a family member, or a close friend was adopted. Maybe you're a birth parent. Or an adoptive parent. Or you’re thinking about adopting. Wouldn’t it be something if we could all share bits of our story in the interest of helping each other?

I get so many questions from friends, family, and strangers alike.

What’s it like to be a single mom?
How did you decide to adopt?
What’s it like to be an adoptive mom?
How do you deal with the daddy issue?
How do you deal with the issue of being a mixed race family?

As a Caucasian, how do you raise a child of Asian descent, and connect her with her heritage?

For all the questions I get, I sense there are as many, if not more times when people wonder – but are too polite to ask. I don’t mind the questions, but my daughter gets them too. I chose this path. She didn’t.

I’m no expert. I learn as I go and make lots of mistakes. There are nights my head hits the pillow and I wrestle with the evidence of the day:

Okay, so today was a textbook example of how NOT to handle that issue. What will I do tomorrow?

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could help each other answer that question?

So, here are a few for you:

How has adoption touched your life?
What questions or lessons has it raised for you?

Do you have favorite books or authors you'd recommend?

I invite you to click on the “comments” link below this post -- or any other post -- and share your thoughts. But please remember to safeguard your privacy as this is a public forum.

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